The Weekend Wrap-Up

I suppose many of you want to know what exactly went down on a crazy, up-and-down weekend in Mad-Town. Although the night ended short for me, overall, I had a pretty good time -- for what I could remember.

Katie did not remember to set the alarm that early Saturday morning. Good thing for me that I'm pretty much "trained" to wake up early, so when I noticed the clock reading "8:22 a.m.," I asked her if we were going to the parade or not.

"Shit!" Katie exclaims. "Of course we're going to the parade!"

So, out the bed we went, showered REAL QUICK and got going. We didn't get into town about an hour later, and from that point I decided to make a run into Mickey-D's for a couple of Egg McMuffins, just in case I run into a little alcohol drinking downtown early that morning. Lucky for us, the parade did not start until 10 a.m., and since the downtown area is pretty much at the end of the parade, the police cars didn't make their way down until around 10:30 a.m.

After I woofed down my McMuffins, I'm talking to Katie's younger brothers outside and I hear Andy hollering. This kid shows up wearing "Charmin - Big Squeeze" pajama pants and I just gotta shake my head.

"Tony ... Let's drink!" Andy yells.

I turn to Katie's brothers. "Well, gotta go!"

The main drinks on tap at Rumors were Bloody Mary's and Jungle Juice. But, I strayed to another direction, Captain Morgan. After a couple of those, Katie was getting cold, so I had to "warm her up," a little bit and then we went to the Cocktail, where we hit up a few more drinks. All before 11:30 a.m.!

You may be thinking, "who's this alcoholic?" Well, you gotta understand, it's Homecoming in Mad-Town, and on top of that, it's my Last One. Gotta make it somewhat memorable, so that's what I did.

Andy, his roommates Brad and Evan, myself and our girlfriends, made way for the local cafe for a little brunch and then we'd hit it up some more. We had a drink or two downtown after that, then walked to Andy's place so a couple of guys could shower up (since they were going all night the previous night). We were all preparing to go to the Blue Team game, a place where I haven't been in around 5 years. While sitting there waiting, I had a couple of Bud Heavys, then Evan gets the idea about mixing Gatorades with Bacardi and bringing them in the game. I declined, since I'm not a huge Bacardi fan. I figured I'd sober up a little bit so I could go a little bit longer. That didn't work out!

We arrived at the football game with a couple of minutes left in the first half. The Blue Team was down 7-0, but before I knew it, it was halftime and somebody had given me their Gatorade/Bacardi mix and I was downing those suckers. The 2nd half was a blur, all I remember is losing my voice from hollering at The Blue Team (they went on to lose, 32-31 in OT). During the game, I was getting phone calls from my old roommates, John and Troy, saying "hey, we're in town," so I hollered back that I'd be downtown soon.

We stopped by the liquor store and picked up a couple of cases of beer. A few fellas showed up over at Andy's place and we played "dingleballs" and "washers" for a little bit. But when I attempted to drink a Michelob Light, I damn near barfed and fell over at the same time. "Oooh, my God." Things were starting to spin at that point, but then John called again and said he and his gang were at The Happy Hour. So, I put it upon myself to walk the four blocks in a straight line to The Happy Hour.

When I got there, John, Troy, Ben, Jared, and their lady friends were all there. The second I get there, they've got tequila poppers lined up and I sucked one of those down. It was nasty. From this point, I started to slow down -- my functions seemed to shut down one by one, and things were beginning to get a little hazy. About this time, Katie called and said that she was heading downtown (she had to take a nap), so I told her to pick me up at The Happy Hour so we can walk across the street to The Cocktail to get some supper.

All I remember at The Cocktail was that I was eating prime rib and drinking yet another Morgan Coke, then it was pretty much lights out. I asked Katie to take me home (it was 9:30 p.m. now) and she denied my request! She wanted to stick around for another hour and a half for a couple of her friends to show up. So I wanted to compromise. Take me home and drive back into town! It didn't sound much like a compromise, but it made sense to me! She replied that she didn't want to drive back into town after we got home.

Well, upon hearing that, my behavior started to get a little "nasty." I just got pissy. I'm damn near passed out on the bar, and Katie's got some friend of hers calling me "a weinie" because I won't stay out. Apparently, she didn't understand that I wanted to go home and sleep it off. I remember Troy talking to me and all I said was something about that I'm pissed off and not in the best mood. (You fellas might have to fill in the blanks).

Katie caved after a while and drove me home. I tried in vain to stay up for a little bit to let the effects wear off a bit, but all I wanted to do was sleep. All I can say is that I did not throw up, but I had a good case of the ol' gut rot that night and all Sunday. My body took a pounding, but I had fun, while I could remember.

And that ends Homecoming '04 in Mad-Town. I made the most of it, although I was done by 10:00 p.m.