The News Spreads

Conflicting emotions. How can I handle it?

When I'm at school, I can supress it and hide my grief.

It really hit hard yesterday after school, when my mother called and asked how I was. I really couldn't explain -- I'm just numb.

I let the College of Education office know yesterday, since Jason graduated in 2002 with a degree in math education, along with his Master's in 2004. The university has just sent out a mass e-mail to all faculty and students regarding Jason's death. The university is even going as far as establishing a scholarship in his name, along with a brick in the Walk of Honor on campus. Pretty cool, if I say so myself.

News stations all across South Dakota reported on Jason, since he did go to school in South Dakota and he did a lot of volunteer work in Sioux Falls and around Mad-Town. His picture was shown on all stations. Each picture was a blow to the mid-section. I kept it all together, but I don't think it's going to sink in until his funeral.

Josh called last night. His wife Lori and him were driving out to Minnesota to visit Teresa. Man, that's sad as all hell. Like I said in the other post, Teresa and Jason were the perfect couple. Now, she's all alone except for the support of Jason's family, her own family, and friends.

I've had friends pass away in accidents before, but Jason's misfortune is different. It was war. Should I be angry at the United States for sending in troops to Iraq? Hell, no! I still believe what the troops is doing over there is right. Jason was being Jason -- helping out as an American soldier should do.

It's tough feeling angry, sad, depressed; while I have to feel enthustiastic and focused at the same time. It's trying, but we'll all get through this and move on.