...what next...

I'm not talking about the state of TonyTimes ... I'm talking about the man himself.

I can sit here, watch football, and breathe deeply and think that I'm totally content with my own life. I'm under a roof (thank goodness, especially with the damn -40 degree wind chill), I've got a good career, but all at the same time ... I'm just not happy with life.

As my family and my closest of friends know, my life hasn't gone the way of a fairy tale. I don't want to sit here and feel sorry for myself ... I made my bed, I made my own decisions that have decided the outcome of my life up to this point. But fuck ... I just wish I had made better decisions along the way, including taking risks that I should've taken.

My main point is this: if you see something or someone that comes along ... and it's just plain good ... don't brush it off like it's nothing. No matter what the obstacles are, you grab that and you don't let it go. Only then, you will feel rewarded.

I'm just stuck in a position now that I let something go ... yes, impossible -- to say the least -- but fuck ... it could have been worth it. I've seen so many shitty things in my life that I know when I see something good.

But again ... a mistake was made. Now all I have is the wisdom from that mistake and store it away... an uphill battle ...