Fun With Lasers (and Cats!)

I know that I haven't been posting much this month in TonyTimes (although I had promised), so I've decided to give you a little humor to finish out the month of November.

A few weeks ago, I had a 6th grade student who was stupid enough to bring a laser pointer to school. What was even more stupid was the fact that he shined that damn thing into my eye! After a short but severe scolding (yes, I can in fact get angry in class -- ask my 4th period students [Jerry Maguire-style]), I took the pointer away from him, promising to give it back to him (and every day since, he's asked for it back, but I still have it).

But tonight, lo and behold, I found a new use for the laser pointer. Katie found it in one of my pants pockets when she was doing the laundry, so I found some pointless fun by playing around with it. If anybody knows me well enough, they should know that Katie and I have two cats. They both quickly picked up on the laser beam on the floor and proceeded to chase it around. I was beginning to become highly amused.

Laughter ensues.

Katie discovers what I am doing. After a few shorts laughs, she seems to be enjoying the playful activity. But after shining the laser from the floor to the wall -- with the cats clunking their heads into the wall 2-3 times -- Katie, combined with her visit from "Aunt Flo" and the crappy weather we're having, REALLY didn't like that too much.

Of course, it's me -- I see humor in every little thing!

Playoff Jitters -- MN Fantasy Football League

I tried to post this to our message board on our Fantasy Football site, but it didn't work. I'll post 'er here!




Talk about a tense week, as teams prepare for the final regular season week in this year's Fantasy Football.

4 teams are in, with two spots remaining. It looks like it's up to 4 other teams gunning for those final 2 spots: Yada Yada Yada, (Eric), FlaminGreenArrows, and the Lightning.

From the looks of it, one of the spots is most likely going to Yada Yada Yada, who sits at a calm 6-6 mark. The points total also helps him out, so just in case if he loses to Thunder in Week 13, it'll be the tie-breaker in his favor because of that nice, points-total cushion that'll give him the 5th seed. There could be the possibility that a "secret deal" is going down between the brothers in that match-up (indicated by Yada's Smack-Talk), but either way, win or loss, I see Yada making it.

Now, it's 3 teams for 1 spot. A quick look at the match-ups has this: Sean vs. Mitch, Tony vs. Shane, and Eric vs. Cory.

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First off, in the Sean vs. Mitch match-up, it's basically a David against Goliath situation with Sean with his back to the wall. Mitch is riding high on a season-high 7-game win streak and it already looks to be a show-down between the #1 and #2 seeds for the championship. It looks like it's going to be an "act of God" for Sean to win this game -- considering that Sean's sitting on a 4-game slump that really knocked him down from being one of the better teams in the league. Like other teams that have struggled in this league, Sean has had to deal with injuries and the early departure of Terrell Owens.

The only way Sean can make the playoffs for that 6th spot is if Eric and Tony BOTH lose. Sean just doesn't have the points to catch and pass the point totals that Eric and Tony have put up.

I predict that Mitch will win this one, giving him that final boost of momentum in the playoffs.

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Next up -- Tony vs. Shane. This is a game that COULD go either way, but ultimately, Shane's got that go-to-money-man in LT, putting up an impressive 300 points through 12 weeks of football. Shane also really took it to Tony in Week 3 by taking the win 163 to 116, a huge scoring margin.

Surprising enough, Shane, even though with LT, is sitting at a 7-5 record -- an indicator of his team's inconsistency. It is notable that Shane has only make 8 roster moves throughout the whole season. Dependent on LT a little too much? I think not. If anybody else in the league had such an impressive point-go-getter like LT, we'd also be following Shane's example.

As for Tony's FlaminGreenArrows, it's been a small, yet impressive "Cinderella" season of sorts, starting out the season 0-6 and managing to win 5 straight before losing to the #1 team in the league in Week 12. Tony has also fought through injuries and at times -- being "lucky" through the acquisition of back-up players -- seems to have momentum on his side. Has his luck run out? Losing Byron Leftwich for a broken ankle last Sunday has left a bitter taste in deciding who's going to pick up the slack (Carr or Losman). Tony will again have to rely on a strong running game in Larry Johnson and Mike Anderson (although last week Anderson disappointed) and hopefully Antonio Gates will be at 100% for his game against the Raiders.

All-in-all, with Shane already set firmly in the playoffs, will take the win over the up-start Arrows behind a huge game from LT.

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GAME OF THE WEEK: Cory vs. Eric. I cannot stress enough how important this game will be, as the lower playoff seeds could be impacted depending on who wins or loses (just look at the points situation).

Flashback to Week 4 -- Eric defeats Cory easily by a score of 152 to 103. Why? Eric had two players -- two quarterbacks, namely -- that helped him to carry that win: Marc Bulger and Brian Griese. Flash-forward to present-time: both of those QB's are out!

Eric is now relying on the arms of Eli Manning and Kyle Orton. Can they help Eric this week for that key victory? I think "not this time."

Cory just has the stouter team this time as his players have stood the test of time. Strong QB's in Jake Plummer and Steve McNair (who had a big week in Week 12 and a pair of running backs: Shaun Alexander and "The Edge", need I say more? As an added bonus, Cory carries the Colts defense which looked strong against the Steelers on Monday night. Although Eric has an impressive defense in the Bears, it will not be enough to carry him past Cory this week.

NOTABLE: Eric made only 4 roster moves all season.

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Overall, I've picked those 3 teams who are playing for that final spot all to lose against their opponents. But one team has to get it! Ultimatlely, Eric should secure that 6th and final spot, due to his nice points cushion that he has over Tony (70 points).

HOW CAN SEAN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?-- Both Eric and Tony have to lose.

HOW CAN TONY MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?-- A win and an Eric loss. Sean can also win along with Tony, but Tony has the points cushion.

HOW CAN ERIC MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?-- A win and a Tony and Sean loss; otherwise as stated before: if all three teams wins or loses, Eric should still have the points cushion.

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NOTABLE GAME: Mike vs. Jake.

These two teams are mathematically out of the playoffs. It seems fitting that in the last week of regular season play, the 9th and 10th teams overall will have it out on the frozen fields of Hanley Falls.

It's a season that they would both like to forget, but in every league, there are those couple of teams that struggle and really cannot get off the ground.

I'm sure once the playoffs start, we can get their analysis on the teams that are in the playoffs!

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Good luck to the teams in Week 13, especially to the Bubble Teams!

You Know You're Going To Have Bad Day When...

...the cat craps in the shower.

I kid you not! I wake up at the usual time (6:15 a.m.) and when I opened the bedroom door, I was met with a whiff o' poo. Immediately, I knew there was something funky going on -- like a cat taking a dump somewhere -- strange, because Katie just cleaned the house.

I walk into the bathroom, the scene of the crime, flip on the lights and there it was: a big, steaming pile of kitty poo. I should have taken a picture of it. It was totally disgusting, plus the smell was strong enough to knock a grown man over. Luckily for me, it was in the tub within close proximity to the toliet, so I picked it all up with some toliet paper and threw it in -- all the while holding back my dry heaves.

Yes, I did disinfect the tub afterwards. You expect me to place my body in there after that catastrophic event without cleaning it?!

But man, the smell. Unbelievable. Ish.

I Gotta Find...

...some motivation, something interesting.

It's just been a wacky week, of sorts. Last week, the school took a mini-sabbatical due to our girl's volleyball team making it to the state tournament (they ended up getting the consolation championship).

And the stupid Vikings finally beat the Giants -- in the Meadowlands of all places!

Eh -- I'm tired now, lounged all weekend, watching a little football and keeping up to date on the fantasy football leagues.

I'm riding high right now...

If you want to kick ass, check this out.

Chill...

...I'm still here.

Talk about being super-busy. We just ended our 1st Quarter of the school year and it's been close to mass-panic on my part. I actually went passed the breaking point in one of my classes and chewed them out pretty well.

Now, with a new quarter starting, things should hopefully move smoother and I should give more updates.

Coming up tomorrow -- the deer hunting weekend, including my brother Dan's run-in with his own "deer hunting experience" in South Dakota. Pretty interesting...