Headaches

Rough week. The only bright hope is that there is only one month of school left.

Middle school students, especially the sixth graders, are absolutely driving me up a wall. Every single day -- they think that they are pretty funny, but of course, they are not! Then, they wonder why I get so angry at them all the time. If only they could keep their mouths shut.

Even though I know I'm going to keep my job, the stress level continues to be high. The weather is crappy and my baseball team cannot play their games (we have to make them all up -- the month of May is going to be hectic), I haven't been sleeping well (again), and even some of the things that Kate does drives me crazy. I've been snippy, yes -- but I guess that is what happens when a person has so much responibility -- I just have to "take it out" once in a while. And drinking beer doesn't solve anything!

I'm just itching for the summer months. Mike has reported that there is a possible softball roster opening back at the Home Town, so I would drive up there once a week. Hopefully it'll all work out. Maybe I'll even get on a team here, but I haven't heard anything yet.

Just a few things: the Nocturnal Adrenaline race at Lowe's Motor Speedway last Thursday night -- well, it could have been better. I was going to play the tire management game. It was all going fine until Lap 28 (out of 140) and I was taken out on the backstretch. Another driver had pitted early (I think he was caught up in an early accident or spin-out) and I knew it. He was coming up quick behind me. I was hoping he'd pull to the inside, but for some odd reason, he simply ran me over, sending me into the inside wall and back up against the wall in Turn 3. I sustained medium damage to my car -- which really sucked -- because now due to the loss of aerodynamics, I was now running almost 2 seconds a lap slower than the leaders.

But I stuck it out, eventually finishing 4th out of the original 10 drivers. I was also 12 laps down, which isn't very impressive. I also got black flagged for speeding on pit road, which, on my part, was plenty stupid.

Next week: Michigan. I tested there yesterday in my #66 Best Buy Dodge Charger and I even beat out Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s qualifying record -- in race trim. Damn fast, if you ask me!

If you're wondering about this other picture, that's my "other" Dodge, the #66 Sony Vaio, which I raced at Richmond and Darlington this season. Here, I'm testing against other computer-driven cars (Dale Jarrett and Jeff Gordon), learning the ways of the aero-loose at Lowe's Motor Speedway (here, you can see me getting a little loose after I passed Gordon on the inside -- saved it though!).

Then, this morning, I had to take the PPST, the Pre-Professional Standardized Test for teachers. I should have taken this back in South Dakota, but then, I didn't have to. It costs around $150 to take, complete with reading, writing, and math portions. The writing section absolutely sucked. I even heard of a fellow faculty member who failed that section 3 times before passing it. God, I don't want to take it again.

Well, I'm off the see the Grand March. It's Prom season -- and it'll be a nice change of pace to see the students all pimped out -- compared to lookin' like shit in my class!

Hold On...

I've got several drafts ready to be posted, but I'm not really sure how to finish them all up. Sure, my life is fairly simple, but there the days where I can write like a mo-fo and others where I cannot even finish a complete sentence.

Who knows if I'll ever get to them, but here's a summary about what's been going down in TonyTimes...

• 7th Grade Baseball: We lost our first game 3 to 2. Heartbreaking, especially losing in the last inning. But, the next Monday, we swept our conference rivals in the rain and sleet 6 to 4 and 11 to 10 -- the last game in which we came back 3 runs down in the last inning. Very satisfactory!
• NASCAR: Newman simply isn't having the dream season that I thought he would, especially from a strong start at Daytona. With a crash at Phoenix (none of his making), he currently sits 22nd in points. Ouch.
• Sim500.com: The #66 Sony Vaio Dodge Charger took 2nd at Darlington. I started in the back and avoided the large wrecks. Now, with tutelage from other more experienced drivers in the Nocturnal Adrenaline league, I'm learning the art of tire management. Plus, I have finally turned off stability and traction controls, which I think increased the wear on my tires. Tonight, it's night action at Lowe's Motor Speedway -- in which I'm running the #66 Best Buy Dodge.
• Speaking of Dodge: Katie's Dodge Intrepid took a crap. The engine blew and the estimated cost is around $5000 - $6000. Yep, we're all very happy.
• I Wanna Be A Baller... : A suprising phone call in the middle of the night brought back healthy memories of a certain song -- with the lyrics slightly tampered with.
• Authors: Mike and I are at it again, in which he submitted a rough draft of his story, and in return, I gave him a rough draft of my own. Literary geniuses, if you ask me.
• Movies: A high recommendation -- Crash. Mike suggested it to me a while ago and I finally picked it up. I felt so strongly for it that I'm showing it to one of my classes at school. No wonder it won the Best Picture Oscar.

That's just a sample of what has been going down.

Rain Delay

My baseball coaching debut was put on hold as a nice, steady shower started around 2:30 this afternoon, making the conditions to play baseball NOT a very pleasant one. There was the reports of thunderstorms and lightning, so it was best to postpone the first game of the season.

I'm a little upset, since I would really like how my team fares against other opponents. There are some things that we really need to work on, like bunts and just overall fielding in general. I love the players eagerness to learn new things, but sometimes I just get the feeling that they are so bored of doing the same things over and over again, but that's what practice is all about.

Yesterday, we did not have school, but I wanted to practice. It seemed like everything came to a climax between some of my players, something that I would have never thought to see between the guys. During our "Live Pitching" sequence, I was standing behind the pitcher's mound, calling balls and strikes. All of a sudden, my right fielder comes running in and literally starts beating the tar out of my first baseman. At first, I'm thinking that they're messing around, but seeing the tears from the right fielder, I knew it was serious.

Apparently, the first baseman and the runner on first was giving the right fielder some crap about his playing ability. Sure -- my right fielder isn't one of the more coordinated players on the field (his real sport is wrestling), but there was no excuse for the crap he was taking, and partially, I do not blame him much for it.

I didn't hear what was said, but I got the explaination. Part of me wanted to call practice off early (due to my anger), but we had to go on. After the apologizes and the shaking of the hands, we went back to business. It was the first time that I had ever seen a situation like that, and hopefully I handled it the best I could.

But I'll give my right fielder this: he's got heart. He's got guts. He knows he isn't the best player out there, but he'll die trying to do the best he can do. Even though he took matters into his own hands and he landed some shots across the face of the first baseman, I actually have a respect for the guy. It shows that he can stand up for himself, but with his fists ... well, I would have handled it a different way.

Today, even though we didn't have a game, things were better. We watched a video on base running and the guys were back to their joking selves. But now, the players are chomping at the bit to get out there and show what they can do -- even pressing me for signs from the third base coaching box. It's something that I've thought of, but I probably will not get too technical!

Silent Hill

Silent Hill, hands-down, is THE most creepiest game ever developed and published.

It was just a matter of time before somebody actually made a feature-length movie from the game.

Mike and I were talking about Silent Hill just last weekend. Just the thought of the game itself literally sent shivers right up my back. Resident Evil 2 USED to be the game about survival horror, but Silent Hill quickly took that title.

There was just something about the game that made you want to play it, then again, there were those days in which you were just so scared to touch the disc itself to insert it into your PSOne. Right off the bat, your character is thrust into the foggy town of Silent Hill, looking for your daughter (in the movie, it's a female lead, but it basically all starts off the same). After walking through an alleyway and dodging half-rotting dogs, you soon see the actual horror, or just plain strangeness, that is Silent Hill. You are at a dead-end, looking at a gutted corspe, then out of nowhere (with a flashlight, mind you), little white humaniod-figures pop up, slashing at you. At this point, you're completely freaking out, running all over the place and you cannot even defend yourself. You soon succumb to your freakish "injuries", only to wake up in a deserted cafe with a radio -- nothing but loud static -- to wake you up.

From that point, it just gets worse.

Your character talks to a female cop (who, by the way, is accurately portrayed in the movie), then she runs off, leaving you to fend for yourself. After picking up the radio, you find its usefulness -- as you approach a "monster," the static become louder.

Then, the absolute weirdness kicks in. Your character encounters other people, like a nurse and a nun, both giving you nothing much to go on as you're looking for your daughter. Also, running through the streets of Silent Hill are nothing but dead-ends, which are again, accurately portrayed in the movie (according to the trailer) -- so basically, there's no way out. To top it off, you hear sirens go off, the freaky signal into a new, twisted dimension. Everything is basically the same, but sheet rock walls are replaced by rusty metal; the floors replaced by chain-like floors.

The movie itself (remember, I'm gathering this all off the trailer as the movie hasn't been officially released) seems to capture the mood that was set-forth from the video game. If that's the case, be prepared for a freak show followed by questions with headaches. I've already told Katie that Silent Hill is a must-see, just based on my past experiences with the game.

This will not be another Resident Evil!

Hopefully I can get to this ASAP. Otherwise, I'll just buy it on DVD!

The Reunion Question

A few weeks ago, I received a notice in the mail regarding a 10-year class reunion. I knew it was coming due to a phone call from a former classmate of mine, but after giving this notice some thought, I'm becoming more skeptical of the situation.

At first, I was kind of fired up. It would be exciting to see some old friends just to catch up and see what they've all been up to in the past 10 years. But after much discussion with Mike last weekend, along with input he's received from Robb, I'm a little iffy.

First off, it's $25/person. That's for social hour, a dinner, and entertainment. I'm also assuming that you're stuck buying your own drinks (which just so happens to be at the same place where Joe had his wedding dance), which were also a little steep. At night's end, I might end up spending over $80. This place is also starting to get the reputation of being pricy, so most of our money is going to the establishment itself. As for the band, sure -- they'll get some of the money, too -- but it kind of upsets me just a little from hearing the word that it's one of our classmate's own band. Seems like somebody is slightly benefitting off our own expense.

I could understand if they had other things, like a classmate booklet to show what everybody is doing, a presentation of some sorts, or some door prizes, but as far as I know, none of that is happening.

Next, the scheduling. They've decided on a weekend where it's the town's annual celebration. Why? It's basically an all-school celebration to begin with -- and the beer garden is a heck of a lot cheaper! The word was already out during Joe's wedding dance that there were going to be quite a few people "skipping" the reunion due to the scheduling -- and maybe just the fact that nobody is really interested in going.

I explained this all to my parents on Sunday. In their opinion, the prices seem typical for a reunion. My dad is fairly active in setting up his high school reunions, but he usually includes golf and humorous presentations of that sort to make the night a lot better. And oh, did I mention that he just celebrated his 30-year just last year? It's a little bit of a different situation.

Overall, my folks think I should chalk up the money and go. I say, I'd rather sit in my lawn chair, drink beer, watch the parade, and play a little bocche ball.

The Last of the Great Wedding Dances

It seems like the last of the Minnesota boys is finally hitched.

Last Saturday, I attended another celebratory wedding dance in honor of probably one of the nicest guys out there, Joe. Joe is a couple of years older than I am, but I have had the pleasure of knowing him through piano lessons (WAY back in the day) and summer softball.

The thing about Joe is that the guy had the hottest women from the area. Where he found them, I don't know -- but he was always hooked up with a pretty lady. It was no surprise to me to see that the woman Joe married -- mmm!

But it's all in good taste and in respect. Timmy-A was the best man, naturally, as Joe was the best man at Tim's wedding a few years back. I hadn't seen Tim in a LONG time, probaby since my own wedding last June.

Overall, the night was typical, at best. Since Katie was busy doing hair for all the ladies back in South Dakota for Prom, I joined Mike and Lacey prior to the night's festivities at their home. After a quick run to The Pop Shop, we hit a few up while Lacey was still getting ready -- all the while watching "old school" basketball videos from the Glory Days, as Mike was transferring his old VHS tapes to DVD.

After we were all rip-roarin' ready-to-go, we took a small jaunt over to visit Schrupp and his wife. I'm still amazed at how that go-to-party house became something extraordinary. It's nice, to say the least. After visiting and having a few more (with Mike's frequent bathroom breaks), we finally headed on over to the dance.

The minute we walked in, we were immediately run over by laughing drunks. So this party's kickin', I thought to myself.

Lots of people as usual, made the customary "hellos...", and hit up the bar. Since when did they start charging $3.50 for a Morgan/Coke? Geez...but at least they were stinky.

I spent most of my time socializing, talking to people who I haven't seen in a while. All during this time, people kept on buying me more drinks -- people are friendly, I guess -- so I was starting to feel pretty good. But after a few hours, there was the downfall -- I didn't eat anything for dinner, so I was riding an empty stomach. Not good.

Jarrod was actually DJ'ing the dance that night, and I will have to say, he did a pretty good job. Stevie-B was killer. Still has, still will (I still need copies of Stevie-B and 12 Gauge).

After a few dances, highlighted by Motley Crue's Kickstart My Heart, I was starting to feel like I did back during New Year's. I cut myself off early, fended off attacks by others to return to the floor, and just took it easy. To wrap it up nicely, Mike said, "I can't do this anymore..."

The dance was scheduled to end at 2 in the morning, but I think we left around 1:30. I was so bloody tired, Mike and Lacey dropped me off without getting my truck. Fine by me, I needed the sleep.

The next day -- kind of a pile day. A slight headache, but more than anything, just tired. It has been agreed upon, once a person gets older, slight things tend to end -- like hard-core partying!

The First Race

My career has taken off, as I fielded my STUDS Racing, Inc. entry, the #66 Sony Vaio Dodge Charger for a 140-lap running at Richmond International Speedway late Thursday night.

No matter how much testing I did, nothing could prepare me more for what I was in store for. These guys, the other competitors, know exactly what they're doing. They've been doing this for years. I'm just the rookie.

Out of 15 racers that started that night, I started 12th. All of us were on the same TeamSpeak channel, so we could at least talk to one another through the race, including the administrator (who was observing, not racing).

For the first few laps, the racing was tight. The tires were cold, but grippy -- maybe too grippy. On Lap 8, I brought out my first career yellow flag, a caution, by running up on the apron off Turn 2 and into another car. I really did not see the replay -- whether or not if the other car came down on me, or I got loose from hitting the apron, but he hit on the passenger side of the car and I saw him peel out behind me. Shit.

The admin saw it right away. He called me on it, but it was no big deal. After a few quick apologies, we were back racing again.

Talk about a mind-draining experience. These virtual cars that we drive are so near the real thing, it's simply unreal. You have to remember, this is a 140-lap event, complete with pit stops and the whole works. I had to constantly keep concentrating on my brake points, where to let the car roll through the corners, where to get back on the throttle. One slight slip up, the car's down on the apron or into the wall coming off the corners. At a place like Richmond, the turns are different (D-shaped oval), so making sure you hit the corners right was a chore.

But the most important aspect of racing is TIRE MANAGEMENT. Tires were great for the first 10 laps, but then after that -- it was a struggle. My car pushed something fierce, no grip in the front wheels. I burned them off completely. I had to slow down big time in the corners, losing time to the leaders on every lap. A good driver could get through the corners at 105-110 mph, I was more like 95-100 mph.

In the end, I finished the race in 11th, 4 laps down. I got out of everybody's way who were going to pass me -- the gentleman-ly thing to do -- just to earn a little respect on the track.

"Thanks, 66."

"10-4."

Heard that plently of times.

I'm just getting the experience needed to be successful later on the future. With more testing and more racing experience, I'll soon find those points on the racetrack to make those important decisions.

Next week is off for Easter, but after that, it's to Darlington -- the track too tough to tame. I tested a little bit there today, but what should that matter, since we're all on fixed set-ups for league anyways? But, it's always important to get the feel for the track, especially at a place like Darlington!

"Thank God..."

It was all coming to a head -- the stress was culminating.

Thursday was crucial here at the school district. The "Budget Committee" met all day on Thursday, meeting with the superintendent and the principals. Our fate would be decided in that room -- which just happened to be located right next to my own room.

Tempers were short, tensions were high. The day passed with no news from the meeting.

Then, today. My 5th graders and I were having a little bit of fun with a digital camera (and site myheritage.com site that Troy sent my way a while back). The superintendent walked in.

Immediately, I could feel my face becoming hot. Then, it had occurred to me -- it is Friday, usually the day of bad news. After I shooed away the 5th graders from my desk, the superintendent pulled up a chair to my desk.

Oh, shit.

"I just wanted to come by and tell you that you are in no danger of losing your job. It was never even a thought."

My eye brows raised. The superintendent continued.

"I talked to (the high school prinicpal) and she told me that you told her that you were worried about the whole situation..."

I then explained my situation again, not really knowing what to do with Katie still in school.

"Oh, no -- like I said, we never even thought about cutting your position. We'll be switching a few things around, but other than that, you're ok."

A sigh of relief. Thank God.

He gave me a slight tap on the back of the head as I bowed. The only other concern was to renew my teaching license by June 30th, which I'm already in the process of.

After he left, I just sat there shaking a bit. I really didn't fell the weight lift off my shoulders or anything -- just a slight feeling of disgust of worrying about nothing. How would have I known what was going to happen? My emotions were justified.

Just like the Cuban Missile Crisis. World War III on the brink, but in the end, things are alright.

I called Katie on my way home, the best news that I could possibly give her. The possibility of me losing my job also weighed heavily on her, but I could tell that she was relieved from the news.

The past couple of months was absolute hell. I just wasn't myself -- my students could probably tell you that. But now, it's a new era in TonyTimes. The motivation is back.

The #66 Entry for STUDS Racing, Inc.

Now, it's on.

Kiss NASCAR SimRacing good-bye. I have just recently purchased the premier NASCAR-themed PC game, NASCAR Racing 2003 -- yes, the old 2003 version (prior to EA Sports buying the license to all NASCAR PC and video games). This is the game in which real-life NASCAR drivers like Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Carl Edwards made famous by actually playing it prior to racing at tracks like Watkins Glens and Pocono to gain the experience needed to run with the more-experienced drivers.

This game is absolutely insane. What I really feel like this made the game the way it is due to the modifications that you can make to the game itself. Your own paint scheme? Sure! Craftsman Truck Series? Sure! IROC cars? Sure! Historic and local asphalt tracks? Sure!

But hands down -- the on-line mode is probably what makes it famous. Just a few weeks ago, I came across a web site, Sim500.com, and I could not believe how organized an on-line league could be. Sim500.com consists of three different Sierra.com servers, holding different leagues with your cars that you create through a system called the Car File Manager. After I was intrigued, or for better words hooked, I created two paint schemes with the help of Adobe Photoshop, thus creating the #66 Crutchfield/Sony Vaio Dodge, the first team in the STUDS Racing, Inc. stable.

After testing and testing through the single-player mode, I figured I was ready for the big time. I registered through the smaller of the two servers on Sim500.com -- the first one being the open server, and the second one used for the free on-line leagues sponsored by Sim500.com. The third server, the Sim500.com Featured Cup Series, is the one in which you have to pay to get into -- $10 a race. It follows your typical NASCAR Nextel Cup Series schedule. If you win the championship, you win $1,000. Maybe that could be in store for me later in the future, but for right now, I'm just going to "cut my teeth" running in the free league for now.

I joined a free league called "Noctural Adrenaline," which runs the Cup cars during Thursday nights. Talladega was going to be run last Thursday night and I was fired up. I even bought a headset to communicate with the other drivers on-line -- but, when I got ready to go, the Sierra.com server told me that I was not qualified to run the race. I needed ratings points. I was screwed.

So far for the past few days, I've been running on-line races, boosting my ratings. So far, I've got a 2 (out of 10) rating on speedways, a 4 on super-speedways, but I haven't run any road courses or short tracks yet. With Richmond International Raceway on the schedule for next Thursday, a short track, I'm going to need some practice!

Hopefully, I can get it to work so I can run my inaugural race, on-line -- filled with intense competition. Maybe later I'm thinking that I should run the Hooters Short Track Series, and maybe even the Midnight Thunder Series, a Craftsman Truck Series.

More updates on this later, as I start my on-line career in racing.

Getting Warmer...

...at least. Hopefully my 7th graders can get outside and really start chucking that ball around. But still, they cannot hit the broad side of a barn.

Just last week, I had 3 of my players smoke each other in the face with the baseball -- when playing catch. What's the cardinal rule in baseball? Keep your eye on the ball? Sure, but make sure you have a glove to catch it before it actually strikes your eye.

We had tons of rain over the last few days, so I'm sure the field is still wet. But during the thaw, with many thanks to the geniuses who built the school right on the swamp, it sure stinks -- literally.

There's just a feeling of disorganization around this place. So far, I'm waiting for my baseball schedule. Who knows when we have our first game? At least we've gotten our "away" baseball schedule, with only 4 games on the road this spring. Not bad, compared to the drastic 8th grade football season that I endured last fall.

Speaking of disorganization, I didn't even know it was Daylight Savings until late Saturday. The school has not even changed the clocks yet, which will continue to mess me up all day today.

With confusion running rampant through these stressful times, it sure did not get any better last week. My anxiously-awaited meeting with the high school principal came to go over my evaluation. She occasionally stops in to observe my teaching -- offically three times a school year -- and this particular evalution was a near-perfect one, something that brightened my day just slightly. The only bad point: I have photos from the newspaper up on my walls, showing off achievements in sports and whatever. The only thing missing is the fine arts, like band, choir, anything academic. Apparently, I'm shutting those kids out on the publicity. As I attempted to explain, I just started it, but the other students finished it. There's generally a feeling that band and choir are the "dorky" things to do in this school, so they didn't put those pictures up. It is my fault for not enforcing that, but then are the days in which I REALLY DON'T CARE. It's tough to tell students to do things when 1) they don't take you seriously and 2) they don't respect anything or anybody.

Then, the subject of the budget cuts came up again. It was something that I did want to talk about, but after the conversation, I wished that I didn't hear it. Right now, I'm still here, but I just got this God-awful feeling that I'm not going to be here much longer -- I just had to read between the lines. It just felt like I was being dicked around, not knowing who to trust anymore. At first, we all got the impression that the principals would be the ones making the suggestive cuts to the superintendent and the school board. Now, she tells me that she "doesn't know what's going on." Okay...

But she was all for giving me a good reference if I needed it. It sure sounded to me that I was going to be out the door. Then, I explained that my wife still is going to school here for another year and a half. The principal fires back: "Can't she transfer?"

It's not that easy. Kate's committed to the school here and I'm all for it.

Top that with the rumor that I heard from another first-year teacher who said that all of the Business classes are going to one person...and that's not me.

I have no idea why they are waiting so long. It's starting to seem that the administration here has no regard for the teachers. There are other job openings around the state and in South Dakota, and those closing dates for those jobs are quickly approaching. We cannot "offically" apply elsewhere until we are received of our lay-off notices, due to our obligation to our current contract. Talk about being BENT OVER.

Students every day are even more concerned about losing teachers. When they ask, I give them honest answers. I don't exactly tell them what I'm thinking, but I do tell them this: if I'm laid off, there is the chance that I will not be back teaching again. It's just the lack of the faith and the trust in the system. Every year we hear of the stories of school systems cutting back on budgets -- laying off teachers, cutting programs -- and in some towns, the taxpayers will not chalk up the extra money to keep those teachers and the those programs because they don't have to -- they don't have kids in the district any longer. It's a shitty way of thinking, because at one time, they probably did have their children in the district.

It's taking its toll. I'm losing sleep. My attitude isn't for the better. My motivation and my drive in the classroom is starting to wear down -- and I know it. It's getting to the point where I don't even care. It's unprofessional of me, but I'll guarantee that anybody else in my situation would probably feel the same.

A person like myself, who struggled through college and find a purpose, finally settles down to become a teacher. After being told that the budget is stout and I would be here for a long period of time -- this now, is a fairly traumatic event.