Into the Great Wide Open

I've got only a couple of more hours left as my profession as a teacher, or as a coach, will come to an end.

I'm basically sitting here with nothing to do (besides watching The Three Stooges on DVD). All of my computers are gone from the room (getting cleaned), the newspaper clippings are off the walls, my desk is completely cleaned out.

The knot in my gut is starting to tighten. I really don't know how to handle it. Room 1150 has been my classroom, my office, for the past 3 years. The interactions with my students and my fellow teachers will cease, forever.

At around 1:00 p.m. today, I will be turning in my keys, probably never setting foot again in this school.

It all hit last night, when I was continuing to write my "Words of Wisdom" to a few seniors, I received a phone call last night from a student. She had just graduated and was one of the few who received a letter from me. She actually thanked me for taking the time to support her whenever she needed it and she also wished me the best of luck in my own future.

I really hope things go well for her: she doesn't have the best home life, she doesn't have plans for college, but she's extremely talented. I had written to her that with her talents, as far as computer visual graphics are concerned, that she should pursue something in that field. I can only advise her so far, but ultimately, it's her decision.

After the phone conversation, I just hung up and thought. This was the main reason why I became a teacher. Although I probably will never see some of my students again, I felt like it ended on a "high note." Someone actually gave a damn about what I was trying to do while I was here.

With that, there's nothing much left to say. I'm going to take some time off with my family this upcoming weekend, and while that is going on, I'm going to prepare for my phone interview on Monday with a corporation in South Dakota.

One step leads to the next and I'm excited.

Next-Gen

I'm not sure if I posted anything about this yet, but after I received my federal economic stimulus package (a whopping $600), I did what the government wanted me to do: I SPENT IT. I bought me a PlayStation3!

The main motivational factor behind the purchase of a PS3 was the fact that Grand Theft Auto IV was released the previous week. Through articles of previews, videos, and the subsequent reviews from on-line gaming communities and web sites (which all basically gave the game a perfect 10 rating), I caved.

I bought the 40-gig version of the PS3, which unfortunately, does not play the old PS2 games. For some odd reason, it will play the old PSOne games, which isn't so bad itself. I can still play those old classics like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Silent Hill, or even the old Final Fantasy games. I popped in Silent Hill the other night and I just cringed: ugh, the graphics! I just couldn't believe that just 10-12 years ago, that was the standard in gaming.

With the purchase of the PS3, I also picked up a new DualShock3 controller (wireless, by the way), a PS3 remote, and a memory card reader for my old PSOne games. After I bought GTA IV, I also have expanded my library to include MLB 08: The Show and Gran Turismo 5 Prologue.

Unfortunately for me, I still have a standard-definition television set, so it doesn't do my games any justice. My TV will run at 480i resolution, while all the games on the PS3 currently run at 720p (hi-def movies run at 1080p or 1080i). I was itching to get out to do some shopping for new hi-def television sets, but I'm going to hold off on that until later this summer or even this fall -- hoping that prices will fall.

But still, the graphical capabilities of the PS3 are extremely impressive. I still cannot get over the amount of detail in GTA IV and MLB 08: The Show ... plus Gran Tursimo 5 Prologue -- in replay view: good Lord.

Another main reason for the purchase of the PS3 is of the Blu-Ray player. Since HD-DVD fell to the way-side, Blu-Ray is the choice for all hi-def playback. I personally haven't experienced hi-def playback, but hopefully this weekend when I visit my parents, they have a 46-inch plasma which can handle hi-def. All I need now is a HDMI cord (which are really expensive).

I also have Wi-Fi in my house, so any firmware updates to the PS3 or to the Blu-Ray player itself can be downloaded and installed in a short period of time. I haven't tried out the on-line gaming side of the PS3, yet.

Overall, I'm extremely happy with what I got. I'm hoping to complete my hi-def set-up sometime before the end of this year.

An Old English Journal: Entry #12

Oct. 16, 1995

Journal Entry #12

My weekend was pretty good. Friday night after we lost to Swan----- big time, I just drove around with Amber and went to her house. There wasn't much to do. Saturday, I went to Ben--- to go bowling for our high school league. We beat Mon------- and lost to Alex------. I bowled 60%. After I got back, I bowled my league games and went home to get ready for our stupid indoor marching concert. After that I went over to Amber's house, again, and didn't get home until late. Good thing my parents were gone at Firefly or I would've been in deep ____. Sunday, I didn't have to go to church and it felt good to finally sleep in for once. I had bowling practice at 1:00 p.m. and Amber came over and we spent the afternoon together. It was fun. I went home and didn't go anywhere that night. Oh, I made another reception against Swan-----, it was about 21 yards. So far, I got 3 catches for about 125 yards. That's good.

An Old English Journal: Entry #11

Oct. 11, 1995

Journal Entry #11

What does this future hold for me? Beats me. I plan on going to college, majoring in architecture. I've decided between a few colleges, like NDSU, Moorhead State, U of M-Twin Cities, University of Detroit-Mercy, and that's about it. U of M-Duluth called me up and asked what I liked to do, but I was so screwed up. They ask the dumbest questions. Who pays these people to talk to kids? I plan on getting married, kids probably, I don't know. It would be pretty cool if I had won the lottery and I could just sit on my dead butt all day watching television, but my parents wouldn't go for that. Right now, I'm concerned with is getting through high school. I wish I didn't have to graduate, because I'll miss the people, especially her.

An Old English Journal: Entry #10

Oct. 9, 1995

Journal Entry #10

My weekend was really good. Friday night really sucked, when we lost to MAC---- 27-0. It was humiliating! After the game was fun. Amber and I went over to Charlotte Z------'s house before and after the game to visit her becaus she had her wisdom teeth cut out on Friday. Her cheeks were swelling up, but she had an ice pack on her mouth. Saturday, it was my grandparent's 40th wedding anniversary. We all went out to the 95th Club in Gran--- to celebrate. It was really boring, especially when the D.J. played only polka and waltzes. Later that night it was just super, when I spent my night with Amber. I didn't get home until about 11:45-12:00, thank God my parents were a little drunk and didn't get home until 1:00 a.m. Sunday sucked because I didn't get to see her, I tried to call but she was already sleeping. Oh, well. I already talked to her today and I'm going to the volleyball game tonight. Go Y--! Yeah! Beat C--! I'm being sarcastic.

I hope this week will be OK for me. I had a good weekend, so it better be a good week. I just hope that us football players don't piss off the coaches this Friday and we will beat Swan-----, guaranteed.

An Old English Journal: Entry #9

Oct. 2, 1995

Journal Entry #9

My weekend was gravy. Friday night was especially fun. We won the Homecoming football game 22-0 over R--. It was so fun beating those guys. The dance, WHOA! 'Nuff said. Afterwards, it rained like crazy all over and I wa supposed to go to a couple of parties, but I had to drop off a few women and went home. I had to go bowling in Alex------ the next day anyway. Don't believe Steve Cou--- on what he is writing in his journal. He is lying! He just can't remember what happened Friday night. All that I have to say is that I can't wait for another dance, because I'm going to have fun! (Don't take it the wrong way).

An Old English Journal: Entry #8

Sept. 28, 1995

Journal Entry #8

Homecoming is still going to be the same. The crowning of the king and queen, the football game, Pep Fest, etc. I don't really care who's going to be king or queen, because I didn't even vote this year because I was gone. I hope we can beat R-- tomorrow. They're undefeated, they've got a good fullback, but all the team they've played are a bunch of cupcakes. La------, Da---- Bo--, Ca---, etc., they're all junk! I can't wait for the dance, though. The women! WHOA!

An Old English Journal: Entry #5

Sept. 18, 1995

This weekend was really fun. After the football game last Friday that we lost to B--- 36-0, me, my cousin, and her two friends drove out to an abandoned house close to W--- Lake. Mike T--- and Sean B------ also drove out there. Before that, Mike and Sean told me that Robb S------, Jayson R---, and Mike's brother Kevin were already out there and they were going to scare the girls. So, I was like "OK!" We got out there and went into the house. There was nothing there. We went into a living room where Mike said that we had to be quiet. We only had one flashlight with us, so it was kind of scary. All of a sudden, a piece of metal came though a hole in the ceiling and it hit a couple of feet away from me. The girls jumped and the good-looking girl jumped on me, wrapping her arms around me. I was like "Ooh-yeah!" Mike just smiled at me and said, "You're the man."

We walked upstairs where ther was a lot of racoon crap on the stairs. We heard steps up there before and Mike led us up, but the girls were too scared until I told them I would be the last one up. We got up there and there was also nothing there. Then we went into the basement...

An Old English Journal: Entry #4

Sept. 13, 1995

Journal Entry #4

Well, I really don't know what to write about. For football, I'm getting ready to play B--- this Friday and hopefully win our first game of the season. I got yelled at today by Coach Ba---- when I was playing the free safety position. Clint S-------, who played split end, was playing in the tight formation. He must've ran a post pattern or something, but he ran across my zone, went into Pat J---'s zone, who was playing cornerback. I start after Clint, but he caught the ball and took off down the field. I went back to the huddle and Micah J------, who was a linebacker, told me "you smell like smoke." Well, I said "I'm the free safety and that's not my zone." Ba---- stepped right in, yelling at me saying that the free safety is the deepest guy in the field and I should of got him. Then I made the mistake saying that it wasn't my deep-third (zone). Ba---- said that he don't give a crap whose zone it was as long as he doesn't get the football. I couldn't understand it because Pat J--- was supposed to be back where I was. Thanks to that incident, I'll probably never play defense again. But I kicked butt returning punts and kicks.

An Old English Journal: Entry #3

Sept. 11, 1995

Journal Entry #3

Friday night was the happiest day of my life. The (my high school) was playing the L------ Cardinals. It was the 4th quarter and we were losing 28-8. Coach Ba---- yells at me to go in a split end. Before that, Coach Br---- had called a time out and he was talking to some of us. I've been returning kicks and punts all night and this was my first play on offense. Br---- called a Fake 24 Sam Fly, but he changed his mind to a Sam Snake. That means that the quarterback would fake the ball to the fullback and I would run a "snake" pattern up the field. Rory B------ was still at QB and he started the cadence. He finally said "hut!" and I took off down the field. At about 7 yards, I broke hard right like I was goin to catch the ball, with my hands in the air and Rory pumped faked to me. I turned again, this time straight down the sideline. I burned my guy big time. I had a good 5-step lead on him and Rory let it fly. I concentrated on it and I was running full-board. I couldn't believe I caught the ball. I kicked it down and ran straight for the end zone. I felt a guy hit my ankles, but I kept going. Right when I got to the goal line, I was hit at the ankles again and stumbled into the end zone. I got up jumped with joy, yelling.

I was surprised I wasn't penalized for celebrating in the end zone. Thank God there was no flag on the play, either. Brandon R------ was the first one I saw come running up to me and he picked me up. I finally made it back to the sidelines and everyone was yelling in my face. I hugged or shook hands with about every player there and then I fell down because I was so happy. The play was 75 yards. I thank Ba---- for putting me in and Rory for throwing it so far. It was the most happiest moment in my life.

An Old English Journal: Entry #2

Sept. 8, 1995

Journal Entry #2

Well, what can I say? It's Friday, the end of the first week of school. It's been sort of a roller-coaster week, a week of ups-and-downs. Last night, it was tough that the volleyball team lost to --- 3-0. I thought the girls played well in their first match of the season. But, I hope tonight that we will kill L------ in tonight's football game. It sucks just driving down there, but it's OK. The disease that has already claimed a couple of lives is going on down there and I hope that any of us don't get it.

Anyway, last night after the volleyball game has to be one of the worst nights of me, personally. During the second game of the volleyball game, it started and didn't finish until the match was over. It's almost too personal and it wasn't fun for me and my good, special friend (a girl, to be exact). We both have been going through a personal hell, probably since the end of April, even though we really haven't gone out. There's just people that haven't matured yet and that's what is bothering me. I think we all need to be on "Geraldo" or something like that, just to get it straightened out. HELP!

The first week of school didn't help either.

An Old English Journal

I came across this the other day: my old English journal when I was 12th grade.

Every few days of the week, our English teacher (an influence on my own teaching career) made us write in a notebook about whatever, just to check our own literacy -- or for him just to snoop around. I read through it the other day and I just laughed and some of the stuff I had written, conjuring up some thoughts and emotions from those days so long ago.

I like to share some with you all.

Sept. 6, 1995

Journal Entry #1

The first day was super boring to me. I had study hall the first hour and Mr. F--- had to go over the student handbook with us. I've now been through this 4 years! It's 100 degrees in there and it's just sucking the energy out of your body, know that you're not going to have the greatest day.

You might as well call the first day "expectation day" because that's all we had talked about. In band 7th hour, I dozed off a little bit during a group discussion about jackets that we were probably going to wear during Pep Band performances. I'm an officer in band (treasurer) and I'm already going through my personal hell dealing with this problem.

Lunch usually sucks as usual because they don't give you a lot of food. They're almost making you to go to the a la carte line to buy something. Forget it. Today, I brought lots of money and I'm going somewhere else to eat.

Football practice was OK, but I had to run 2 extra laps after practice for being late. I had an excuse though, because all the sophomore, juniors, and seniors are crammed into one small room, trying to put on all of that stuff. My locker's right in a corner and I had no way of getting there.

I also got my hair cut too, thank God, because Mom butchered it during the summer with the clippers.

Retrospective

Yet again, another boring in-service. Although the current activities no longer apply to me or to my profession as a teacher, I am here only to fulfill the last couple of days of my contract for the school year.

The past couple of hours have been spent cleaning out my desk. Besides being flooded with the memories of the past three years in Room 1150, I have also a concern about my future: several applications have been sent out for future careers -- no phone calls or attempted contacts on their part to help fill those positions.

I'm not overwhelmingly concerned, but it would be nice to know where I'm going to head to next. I've already told my landlord that I will be staying at my current residence until June 30. If push does come to shove, if no career opportunity presents itself prior to that date, then I will be forced to move back to the HomeTown for the time being. Hopefully this accommodation will be as short as possible!

The last week of school, May 19th through the 23rd, was the last time I will ever have students in my classroom. On the 21st, that was the last day for all the seniors. Although I never got "too emotional," it was a extremely sad feeling that I will never see some of my students again. This year's senior class was one particular group of students that I really "got along with." It was this group, or the majority of, that had begun to take my classes as sophomores, my first year of teaching. When the seniors were not allowed to take a second study hall period (even when they had enough credits to graduate), they elected to take my classes again.

I attended several graduation receptions for the seniors, probably around 30 of them. There were a few of Friday, a few on Saturday, and a boat-load on Sunday. Most of them were "in-and-out" visits, since I had to keep moving on. A quick congratulations from me (plus "Words of Wisdom" to a few special seniors) and I was out! There wasn't even a second for me to stick around to grab a quick bite to eat -- and there were several receptions that had kegs of beer!

Overall, it was a love-hate career. Obviously, I love to interact with my students and I gained their trust with my easy-going attitude -- which I will probably miss the most. I loved coaching 8th grade football and 7th grade baseball during my three years, although I didn't have the most talented teams (0-15-2 record for baseball this season).

I hated the politics, the back-stabbing, the ever-constant two-faced attitude from our own administration. Promises that were once made were shattered behind the facade of personal feelings and the excuses that the school has a lack of money (although we did pass an operating levy last fall). I hated the constant classroom drama -- students fighting over stupid ideas and causes, which just arouses in myself some opinions and judgements.

This has been my home for three years. If I had it my way, I'd still be here. But it's time to move on for hopefully better things.

Thus ends this chapter.